What can I do when I ran out of tears?
Shall I keep crying with no tears? Shall I stop crying? Shall I weep?
OR
Shall I start thinking of how fool am I?
If everything is happening for a reason … what’s the reason?
If god always keep the good for me … Where is the good?
and, If my days are running and my good years are reaching to an end …. When will the good come?
I don’t know but I have to believe, there is no choice in world I have been forced to come and torched to live.
I have to believe in the reason, in the good that exists and will come, that’s why I keep throwing my hopes and dreams in any land I cross by without considering the soil. I cannot judge soil before testing it. Yet, I’m tried from having the bad soils all the time.
I wish to have at least a small pot with suitable soil, where I will plant one bean and guard it for good.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Letter.
To: Someone who will never have the chance to read this (with no access to this blog).
My Dear,
It is very hard for me to accept that you left me. I know I came out to you when it is too late. After long thoughts, hesitations and fears of commitment. When I decided to speak it load, I lost you. I always knew that you are the perfect one. I had the sense to feel your heart beats through your text messages. I used to know your mood from your hairstyle, from your nails color and before all from your eyes. I took your love for granted. It is the famous mistake of all ages where regression has nothing to heal.
To tell you the truth, something inside me kept preventing from proposing while I was sure that your answer will be “I DO”. I needed my time; days, months and even years ran before telling how much I want you, how much I need you and how precious you are for me. Time spoiled it all, yet it is me who gave it the chance to happen.
Is it your faith? Is it my destiny? We both prayed to god for our relation to grow, yet it was aborted. Is it god? Is it the best? As a believer I have to agree, you were too good for me.
Yet, I'm sure; our relation is engraved in our memories; none of us will be able neither to erase nor to forget. You will have your new life and I will dig my unpaved way. I wish when we meet at any time of the life cross roads, to see you happy or at least to see your genuine smile guarded by your warm eyes.
Goodbye my lover and see you around as friend.
M. A.
My Dear,
It is very hard for me to accept that you left me. I know I came out to you when it is too late. After long thoughts, hesitations and fears of commitment. When I decided to speak it load, I lost you. I always knew that you are the perfect one. I had the sense to feel your heart beats through your text messages. I used to know your mood from your hairstyle, from your nails color and before all from your eyes. I took your love for granted. It is the famous mistake of all ages where regression has nothing to heal.
To tell you the truth, something inside me kept preventing from proposing while I was sure that your answer will be “I DO”. I needed my time; days, months and even years ran before telling how much I want you, how much I need you and how precious you are for me. Time spoiled it all, yet it is me who gave it the chance to happen.
Is it your faith? Is it my destiny? We both prayed to god for our relation to grow, yet it was aborted. Is it god? Is it the best? As a believer I have to agree, you were too good for me.
Yet, I'm sure; our relation is engraved in our memories; none of us will be able neither to erase nor to forget. You will have your new life and I will dig my unpaved way. I wish when we meet at any time of the life cross roads, to see you happy or at least to see your genuine smile guarded by your warm eyes.
Goodbye my lover and see you around as friend.
M. A.
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