Why didn’t I say HI?

My close and I friend accidentally saw him last night, he was sitting few tables away from us with his friends. My close friend knows all his friends and wants to go and say “hi” as a normal reaction and he sees no harm of doing that. I totally refused and I even told him not to go. Just for my sake he didn’t go, I knew that he hates it, but he did it for me, he didn’t even mention it again.

But the question here is why did I do that?

After a long time of thinking, I reached that could be because I was afraid to see his friends whom I heard are strange (i.e. famous, feminine, and judgmental)… but this is not true…. what’s in that? Don’t I have in my friends who have these entire common characteristics and may be more? There must be a hidden reason, come on speak up……

I think because I was not ready to salutes him at that stage of my life…. WHY?

Because, I always used to see him (in my eyes) in a higher level than his real one, I hate to see his friends who I heard about a lot, I hate to see him with them in real life which will be a fall down to him in my eyes, I was afraid of what he will say about me if anyone of them asks who is this guy? (And for sure they will). What will be his answer? Will he speaks well about me? Why not? And why do I care first place? I didn’t do him anything bad or harm; I just had that crush on him.

I still don’t know, may be this is a question mark meant to be there till I find an answer, if anyone knows please let me know.