Crouching pride, hidden pain.

She never imagines that she will lose him one day, she knows everything has an end, but she did not think of it. She loved him so much; she prioritized him over her parents, her friends and even herself. He also used to tell her that she is his light in darkness, his crunches in troubles, and his eye guard in the gloomy nights. She was happy with his love, proud of his care and warm with his praises.

Yet his praises were setting facts, as she was there for him whenever he needed her, he rarely asks for her support, simply because she used to provide it before he asks. She never bother herself if he notice or appreciate that or not and she never care. She believed that he loves her. He used to do the same, but he also used to tell her that he sacrifices a lot for her sake, and give her advantage over his work and family. She knows that his pride is the most important thing for him in his life, but she thought that she is someone very especial for him, that exceptions could be made for her sake.

Among his hard times, he started to treat her in tough way, not to feel her as he used to, and not to treat her the same way. She always knew he never stopped loving her, and she will never stop loving him. She decides to hide her reactions and feelings born out of his new way of treatment, showing him that nothing is going on.

She knows he hates people hiding and sheltering their feelings, she promised him she would never do that. However, there is always an exception for every rule, as in nature, in science, in religion, and literally in everything in life. It all began when he had a serious of troubles that gave him one of the hardest weeks he ever had since they were together. She did not want to lose the guy she loved for the past three years, the guy that took her a long time to decide being with, the guy she trusted and invested numerous effort and time in. She did not expect all this love to go so quickly; like a dusty glass facing the rain, in few seconds becomes clean and clear like crystal balls.

She though and she was wrong that hiding her pain inside her will never affect their relation. Although, he felt that there is something wrong, she kept telling him nothing whenever he asks; she preferred to keep her pain for herself instead of giving him more pain in his hard times. She wanted not to hurt him more, especially that his mood kept going down and the hard times became harder and harder. She decided to sustain and keep him on trace by saving him the pain. At the same time he kept putting more pressure on her by accusing her of not being cold in the hard times, enjoying her normal life and having fun. And he told her that she is losing him for ever.

Here, she decided to put a big full stop for the series of pain in this relation and she took all out. Although, she knew very well that by doing this she might lose him forever. Her decision way non negotiable, she threw it all out, she told him everything, every single pain he caused over the past period. She supported him all thorough his hard times, while he was blind and depth in following her troubles. It was in the wrong timing, she knew it as a fact, but she will not keep it for herself anymore, simply she can not.

Surprisingly, he was arguing his pride, and dignity more than anything else, her feelings was not even cared for. He told her that knowing him, she had to ask for his response to get it. He told her never to expect him react or to do things she never asks for, she has to name it in words. Although, he was tough and she disagreed on discussing it that way, she went through the conversation reminding him with words she said and requests she asked him to do, which he never react. Here he accused her again of not being clear. How could she express herself other than words and actions? It was a question kept unanswered. If he cannot feel her, then why were they together from the beginning?

She does not think of herself as a victim or a scarifier, she sees herself as a normal person who knew her partner is in a bad mood, preferred to postpone her anger to the proper time. So, he can absorb her pain. Nevertheless, the shock for her was when she found him talking about rules in life and how they agreed not to hide their feeling.

He accused her of being a double face person, by laughing at his face while she is in pain and has things toward him. She told him that she always see this hurt as tiny stones on a long beach hardly distinguished among the sand. But he told her that she lost his trust forever and that she will never have him back again. He was talking about his rules, his principles and his way that she miss-followed. He kept shocking her when he accused her by make her biggest mistake when she decided to wait for him to get better, taking the decision alone without referring to him; Accusing her by passing the line that nobody ever passed by taking a decision on his behalf. She never thought there were red lines between them; she believed they both passed each others borders.

Like a peace of ice left on the road in summer, he melted all her believes and thoughts towards him. She felt totally lost, finding herself telling him "Please, it is over” she took a deep breath to continue “Always remember that you once had a partner, close friend, or even a friend who preferred to lose you more than hurting you in hard times".